The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 4 of 5) Read online

  CHAPTER LXIV

  Harleigh, confused, disconcerted, remained motionless; but when theconscious Juliet would have glided silently past him, he entreated for amoment's audience.

  'Oh no, Mr Harleigh, no!' she cried: 'these are scenes and alarms, thatmust be risked no more!--'

  She was hurrying away; but, upon his saying, 'Hear me, at least, forElinor!' she turned back.

  His eye, now reproached even her compliance; but he rapidly communicatedhis opinion, that the conference demanded by Elinor ought, in prudence,for the present, to be avoided; since, while she had still somefavourite object in view, life, would, unconsciously, be stillsupported. Time, thus, might insensibly be gained, not only for eludingher fatal project, but happily, perhaps, for taming the dauntlesswildness that made her, now, seem to stand scoffingly at bay, betweenlife and death.

  Juliet saw nothing to oppose to this statement, and thanking him that,at least, it liberated her, was again hastening away.

  'Hold, hold!' cried he, stopping her: 'it is not from me that it mustliberate you! Elinor has ratified the restoration of your word--'

  'Oh, were that all!--' she cried, hastily; but, stopping short, deeplyblushing, 'Mr Harleigh,' she added, 'compel me not to repeatdeclarations that cannot vary!--Aid me rather, generously,--kindly,shall I say?--aid me,--to fly, to avoid you,--lest you becomeyourself ...' her voice faltered as she pronounced, 'the most fatal ofmy enemies!'

  The penetrated Harleigh, charmed, though tortured, saw her eyesglittering with tears; but she forced her way past him, and took refugein her chamber.

  There, in deep anguish, she was sinking upon a chair, when she receivedthe gentle balm of a letter from Gabriella, written with exstatic joy atthe prospect of their re-union.

  This decided her plan of immediate escape to London, under a fullconviction that Harleigh, to obviate any calumnious surmizes from herdisappearance, would studiously shew himself in the world; howevercautiously he might avoid any interview with Elinor.

  The shock of Juliet, at this unfortunate intrusion, somewhat abated,when she reflected that confirmed hopelessness might, perchance, leadElinor to acquiescence in disappointment; for hopelessness, equally withresignation,--though not so respectably,--terminates all strugglesagainst misfortune.

  She now, therefore, seized an opportunity, when she knew Mrs Ireton tobe engaged with Mrs Maple, for going forth to secure a place in somemachine, for a journey to London on the following morning.

  This office performed, she thought, while returning home, that sheperceived, though at a considerable distance, Harleigh.

  In the dread of some new conflict, she was planning to seek another wayback, when recollecting that she had his bank-notes in her work-bag, shejudged that she might more promptly return them at this accidentalmeeting, than in the house of Mrs Ireton.

  She slackened, therefore, her pace, and, taking out her ever readypacket, turned round, as the footstep approached, gravely and calmly todeliver it; when, to her utter surprize, she faced Lord Melbury.

  Pleasure emitted its brightest hues in the tints of her cheeks, at sightof the marked respect that chastened the visible delight with which shewas looked at and accosted by the young peer. 'How fortunate,' he cried,'am I to meet with you thus directly! This moment only I dismount frommy horse. I have a million of things to say to you from Aurora, if youwill have the goodness to hear them; and I have more at heart still myown claim upon your patience. When may I see you for a littleconversation?'

  The pleasure of Juliet was now severely checked by perplexity, howeither to fulfil or to break her engagement. Observing the change in hercountenance, and her hesitation and difficulty to answer, Lord Melbury,whose look and air changed also, said, in a tone of concern, 'Miss Ellishas not forgotten her kind promise?'

  'Your lordship is extremely good, to remember either that or me; yet Ihope--'

  'What does Miss Ellis hope? I would not counteract her hopes for theworld; but surely she cannot be so cruel as to disappoint mine? to makeme fear that she has changed her opinion? to withdraw her amiabletrust?'

  'No, my lord, no! not a moment could I hesitate were trust alone inquestion! but the hurry of this instant,--the impossibility of detailingso briefly, and by an imperfect account--'

  'And why an imperfect account? Why, dear Miss Ellis, since you have thekindness to believe I may be trusted, not confide to me the wholetruth?'

  'Alas, my lord! how?--where?'

  'In some parlour,--in the garden,--any where.--'

  'Ah, my lord, what I have to say must be uninterrupted; unheard but byyourself; and--I can command neither a place nor a moment free fromintrusion!'--

  'Sweet Miss Ellis!--sweet injured Miss Ellis! I know, I have witnessedthe unworthiness of your treatment. Even Aurora, with all hergentleness, has been as indignant at it, nearly, as myself. All ourwonder is how you bear it!--We burn, we expire to learn what can urge soundue a subjection. But I have not obtruded myself upon you only formyself; I have galloped hither to prepare you,--and to entreat you notto be uneasy,--and to save you from any surprize, by acquainting youthat my uncle Denmeath--'

  He stopt short, as if thunderstruck. Juliet, alarmed, looked at him, andsaw that, in bending over her, to name, in a lower voice, his uncle, hiseyes had caught the direction of her packet, "For Albert Harleigh, Esq."

  Shocked at the evidently unpleasant effect which this sight produced,and covered with blushes at the suspicions to which it might give rise,Juliet hastily exclaimed, 'Oh my lord! I must no longer defer myexplanation! any, every risk will be preferable to the loss of youresteem!'

  Delight, enchantment again were depicted on the countenance, as theyseized the faculties of the young peer; and, involuntarily, his eagerhands were stretching forwards to seize hers, when he perceived, justapproached to them, pale, agitated, and with the look of some one takensuddenly ill, Harleigh.

  The colour of Juliet now rose and died away alternately, from varyingsensations of shame and apprehension; to which the deepest confusionsoon succeeded, as she discerned the contrast of the cheeks, whitened bypale jealousy, of Harleigh; with those of Lord Melbury, which werecrimsoned with the reddest hues of sudden suspicion, and painfulmistrust.

  Harleigh, with a faint and forced smile, bowed, but stood aloof: LordMelbury seemed to have not alone his sentiments, but his faculties heldin suspension.

  Juliet, with cruel consciousness, perceived that each surmized somethingclandestine of the other; and the immense importance which she annexedto their joint good opinion; and the imminent danger which she saw ofthe double forfeiture, soon re-invigorated her powers, and, addressingherself with dignity, though in a tone of softness, to Lord Melbury, 'Ifyou judge me, my lord, from partial circumstances,' she cried, 'I haveevery thing to apprehend for what I value more than words can express,your lordship's approbation of the favour with which I am honoured byLady Aurora Granville; but let me rather hope,--suffer me, my lord, tohope, that by the opinion I have formed of the honour of your owncharacter, you will judge,--though at present in the dark,--of theintegrity of mine!'

  Turning then from him, as, touched, electrified, he was beginning, 'Ihave always judged you to be an angel!'--she would have presented herpacket to Harleigh; though without raising her eyes, saying, 'MrHarleigh has so long;--and upon so many occasions, honoured me withmarks of his esteem,--and benevolence,--that I flatter myself,--Ithink,--I trust--'

  She stammered, confused; and Harleigh, who, from the moment that LadyAurora had been mentioned, had recovered his complexion, hisrespiration, and his strength; recovered, also, his hopes and hisenergy, at sight of the embarrassment of Juliet. Not doubting, however,what were the contents of the packet, he held back from receiving it;though with a smile that conveyed the most lively expression of gratefuldelight, at her palpable anxiety to preserve his esteem.

  'Nay, you must take your property!' she resumed, with attemptedcheerfulness; yet blushing more deeply every moment, at thus betrayingto Lord Melbury that she had any pro
perty of Mr Harleigh's to return.

  'I will take your commands in every shape in which they can be framed,'cried Harleigh, gaily; 'but you must not refuse to grant me, at the sametime, directions for their execution.'

  The interest with which Lord Melbury listened to what passed, was nowmingled with undisguised impatience: but Juliet could not endure tosatisfy him; could not support letting him know, that she retainedmoney of Harleigh's in her hands; nor yet bear to suffer Harleigh, nowthe address had been seen, to leave it still in her possession:hesitating, abashed, she turned from one to the other, with looks atLord Melbury that seemed appealing for forbearance; and to Harleigh withdown-cast eyes, that had not force to encounter his, but that wereexpressive of distress, timidity, and fear of misconstruction.

  This pause, while it astonished and perplexed Lord Melbury, gave rise,in Harleigh, to the most flattering emotions. Her disturbance was,indeed, visible, and cruelly painful to him; but, since their meeting inthe church-yard, the severity of her reserve had seemed shaken, beyondher power, evident as were her struggles, to call back its originalfirmness. The more exquisitely he felt himself bewitched by thisobservation, the more fondly he desired to spare her delicacy, byconcealing, though not repressing his hopes; but his eyes, less underhis controul than his words, air, or address, spoke a language not to bedoubted of tenderness, and sparkled with lustrous happiness, Juliet felttheir beams too powerfully to mistake, or even to sustain them. Her headdropt, her eye-lids nearly closed; blushing shame tingled in her cheeks,and apprehension and perturbation trembled in every limb.

  Perceiving, and adoring, her inability to find utterance, Harleigh, withsubdued rapture, yet in a tone that spoke of his feelings to be, atlength, in harmony with all his wishes, was gently beginning an entreatythat she would adjourn this little dispute to another day, when thewords, 'Well! if here i'n't the very person we were talking off!'striking his ears, he looked round, and saw Miss Bydel, accompanied byMr Giles Arbe; whose approach had been unheeded by them all, from thedeep interest which had concentrated their attention to themselves.

  'Why, Mrs Ellis,' she continued, 'why what are you doing here? I shouldlike to know that. I've just had a smart battle about you with my goodfriend, Mr Giles. He will needs have it, that you paid all your debtsfrom a hoard that you had by you, of your own; though I have told him Idare say an hundred times, at the least, I must needs be a better judge,having been paid myself, for my own share, by that cross-grainedBaronet, who's been such a good friend to you.'

  The sensations of Juliet underwent now another change, though shame wasstill predominant; her fears of exciting the expectations she sought toannul in Harleigh, were superseded by a terrour yet more momentous, ofgiving ground for suspicion, not alone to himself, but to Lord Melbury,that, while fashioning a thousand difficulties, to accepting theassistance that was generously and delicately offered by themselves, shehad suffered a third person, that person, also, a gentleman, to supplyher pecuniary necessities. She breathed hard, and looked disordered, butcould suggest nothing to say; while Harleigh and Lord Melbury stood asif transfixed by disturbed astonishment.

  'Well! I protest,' resumed Miss Bydel, 'if here i'n't another of thepeople that we were talking of, Mr Giles! for I declare it's MrHarleigh, that I was telling you, you know, my good friend, was theperson that made poor Miss Joddrel make away with her herself, becauseof his skimper-scampering after Mrs Ellis, when she had that swoon!which, to be sure, had but an out of the way look; for the music wouldhave taken care of her. Don't you think so yourself, my dear?'

  The most painful confusion again took possession of Juliet; who wouldsilently have walked away, had not Miss Bydel caught hold of her arm,saying, 'Don't be in a hurry, my dear, for you shan't be chid; for I'llspeak for you myself to Mrs Ireton.'

  'I am mighty glad to hear that Sir Jaspar is your friend, my prettylady,' said the smiling Mr Giles; 'and I am mighty glad, too, that youhave persuaded him to help to pay your debts. He's a very good sort ofman, where he takes; and very witty and clever. Though he is crabbed,too; rather crabbed and waspish, when he i'n't pleased. He always scoldsall the men: and, indeed, the maids, too, when they a'n't pretty, poorthings! And they can't help that: else, I dare say, they would. Yet, Iam afraid, I don't like them quite so well myself, neither, in my heart,when they are ugly; which is but hard upon them; so I always do themdouble the good, to punish myself. But I'm prodigiously sorry you shouldhave taken to that turn of running in debt, my dear, for it's the onlything I know to your disadvantage; for which reason I have never namedit to a single soul; only it just dropt out, before I was aware, to MissBydel; which I am sorry enough for; for I am afraid it will be but hardto her, poor lady, to keep it to herself.'

  'What do you mean by that Mr Giles?' cried Miss Bydel, angrily. 'Do youwant to insinuate that I don't know how to keep a secret? I should beglad to know what right you have to fleer at a person about that, whenyou blab out every thing in such a manner yourself! and before these twogentlemen, too; who don't lose a word of what passes, I can tell you!'

  'True! Good! You are right there, Mrs Bydel! I did not think of that, Iprotest. However, these two gentlemen have too much kindness about them,to repeat a thing that may hurt a young person just coming, as one maysay, into the world, for she is but a chicken; and my lord, here, wholooks younger still, is scarcely more than an egg. So you may be sure hehas no guile in him, for he seems almost as innocent as herself.However, my pretty lady, if you have still any more debts, new or old,only tell me who you owe them to, and I'll run and fetch all the peoplehere; and we'll join together to discharge them at once; for Mr Harleighis always at home when he is doing good; and this young nobleman can'tbegin too soon to learn what he is rich for: so you can never be inbetter hands for taking up a little money. When we settled the lastbatch, you had no debt left but to Mrs Bydel; and, as the Baronet haspaid her, she's off our hands. So tell me whether there is any new onethat you have been running up since?'

  Wounded, and nearly indignant at this demand, 'None!' Julietspontaneously answered; when catching a glance at Lord Melbury, whoinvoluntarily looked down, his purse and the fifteen guineas of LadyAurora, rushed upon her memory, and filled her again with visibleembarrassment.

  'Good! good!' cried the pleased Mr Giles: 'you could not tell me betternews. But are there any poor souls, then, that you forgot to mention inour last reckoning? Are there any old debts that you did not count?'

  Inexpressibly hurt at a supposition so offensive to her sense ofprobity, Juliet hastily repeated, 'No, Sir, there are none!' but, inraising her head, and encountering the penetrating eyes of Harleigh, theterrible recollection of the capital into which she had broken, and ofthe large sum so long his due, struck cold to her heart; though it burnther cheeks with a dye of crimson.

  Yet were these sensations nearly nugatory, compared with those which shesuffered the next instant, when Miss Bydel, suddenly perceiving thedirection upon the packet, read aloud 'For Albert Harleigh, Esq.'

  Her exclamations, her blunt, unqualified interrogatories, and thewonder, and simple ejaculations of Mr Giles Arbe, filled Juliet with aconfusion so intolerable, that she forced her arm from Miss Bydel, withintention to insist upon publicly restoring the packet to Harleigh; butHarleigh, confounded himself, had advanced towards the house, which,frequently as they had stopt, they now insensibly reached; but fromwhich he would most willingly have retrograded, upon seeing Iretonissue, laughing, into the portico.

  The laugh of Ireton, whose gaiety was always derision, and whosederision was always scandal, though it was innocently echoed by theunsuspicious Mr Giles, was as alarming to the two gentlemen and toJuliet, as it was offensive to Miss Bydel; who pettishly demanded, 'Praywhat are you laughing at, Mr Ireton? I should like to know that. If itis at me, you may as well tell me at once, for I shall be sure to findit out; because I always make a point of doing that.'

  Ireton, seizing upon Harleigh, exclaimed 'What, Monsieur le Moniteur!still hankering after our mysterious fair
one?' when, perceiving thewishes of Juliet, to pass on, he wantonly filled up the door-way.

  Harleigh, who, also, could not but guess them, though he dared not lookat her, hoped, by delaying her entrance, to catch a moment's discourse:but the youthful Lord Melbury, deeming all caution to be degrading, thatinterfered with protection to a lovely female, openly desired thatIreton would stand aside, and let the ladies enter the house.

  'Most undoubtedly, my lord!' answered Ireton, making way, with an air ofsignificant acquiescence.

  Miss Bydel, with a warm address of thanks to his lordship, whoseinterference she received as a personal civility, said, 'This is like agentleman, indeed, my lord, and quite fit for a lord to do, to take thepart of us poor weak women, against people that keep one standing out inthe street, because they think of nothing but joking;' and then, tellingJuliet to follow her, 'I can do no less,' she added, as she entered thehall, 'than be as good as my word to this poor young music-maker, tosave her a chiding, poor creature, for staying, dawdling, out so long;when ten to one but poor Mrs Ireton has wanted her a hundred times, forone odd thing or another. But I shall take all the fault upon myself forthe last part of the job, because I can't deny but I held her a minuteor two by the arm. But what she was gossipping about before we came upto her, my good friend Mr Giles and I, is what I don't pretend to say;though I should like to know very well; for it had but an oddappearance, I must own; both your gentlemen having been talked of somuch, in the town, about this young person.'

  The most pointed darts of wit, and even the poisoned shafts of malice,are less disconcerting to delicacy, than the unqualified bluntness ofthe curious under-bred; for that which cannot be imputed to a spirit ofsarcasm, or a desire of shining, passes, to the bye-standers, forunvarnished truth. As such, the intimation of Miss Bydel was palpablyreceived by Ireton, and by Mr Giles; though with malevolent wilfulnessby the one, and, by the other, with the simplest credulity; while LordMelbury, Harleigh and Juliet, were too much ashamed to look up, and toomuch confounded to attempt parrying so gross an attack.

  Yet both Lord Melbury and Harleigh, urged invincibly by a desire ofknowing in what manner Juliet was to be patronized by her loquaciousmediatrix, and how they might themselves fare in the account,irresistibly entered the mansion; though marvelling, each, at thecuriosity, and blaming the indiscretion of the other.

  To avoid the aspersion of making a clandestine retreat, Juliet haddecided, however painful to her might be such an exertion, openly torelinquish her situation with Mrs Ireton; but she by no means felt equalto risking the irascibility of that lady before so many witnesses.Nevertheless, when she would have glided from the party, Miss Bydel,again seizing her arm, called out, 'Come, don't be afraid, Mrs Ellis:I've promised to take your part, and I am always as good as my word;'and then dragged, rather than drew her into the drawing-room; closelyattended by Lord Melbury, Harleigh, Mr Giles Arbe, and Ireton.